I Am Free

You have wakened such a stirring,
 a changing, 
      a drawing,
             these past weeks.      
You have pulled me close to You.
            You have opened up Your self and drawn me inside.
You have freed me to long for You.
                 You have made it clear that I am Yours.
My longing has become only for You.
                My very bones ache with desire to be near You.

You have freed me to long without shame.

You have come near,
                 breathed Your life directly into my lungs
and set me on fire for You.

Nothing will separate me from Your love,
      Your desire,
Your longing to be near me as I desire to be near to You.

You reach out with Your desire and draw me close.
        I let go of all I am clutching as I spin into Your arms.
 
We dance.

           As we turn, we leave a trail behind us of
  tears,
          aching,
                    old fears
                               lies.

My hands are now free to be held in Yours.
             My face can reflect Yours,
and the passion in Your eyes consumes me.

I am free. I am free.

I am free
            to dance,
                       to love,
to let my longing run wild after You.

I am free to run into Your embrace without tripping over anything.
           I am free to join You in singing over this love.
              I am free to join in the song You began long ago.
I am free to sing my own song over those around me,
           knowing You desire for this freedom to flow into them.

I am free.

Love Met Me Here

Love chase away storms of doubt

Love change me from the inside out

Love free me from all my fear

Love, only Love, come meet me here.

It used to feel safe inside

Locked up with fear and doubt

I was comfortable with all the lies

They told me of what Love’s about.

“Oh, you’re stronger than that,”

Was one thing that they said.

“And it was never meant for you,”

Was their answer to me instead.

Love chase away storms of doubt

Love change me from the inside out

Love free me from all my fear

Love, only Love, come meet me here.

I got tired of pretending,

Sick of looking at these scars

I was ready for something new,

 To move past these prison bars.

I decided to take the chance

And began to open up inside

 I watched You move past the pain

And cut deeper than the knife

Love chase away storms of doubt

Love change me from the inside out

Love free me from all my fear

Love, only Love, come meet me here.

You found me on the inside

A young woman still caged by her fear

And every scream never released

Burst forth as Love came near.

As I collapsed in Your arms

I was wrapped in Love’s embrace

And I found no cage can compete

When it meets Love face to face.

Love chased away storms of doubt

Love changed me from the inside out

Love freed me from all my fear

Love, only Love, could have met me here.

Under My Skin

I’ve got to have You under my skin

Under the skin is where healing begins

Past all the tears to the place they began

Past all the smiles to where the giants still stand.

I’ve made them so big I can’t see who You are

The scars run so deep – can You really reach that far?

The only way out is to let You inside

To let You touch all the places where innocence died.

Next time we wrestle, I’m aiming to lose

If You ask once more I promise not to refuse

I’m tired of holding so tight to my fear

That all I can ask is for You to come near.

I’ve got to have You under my skin

Under the skin is where healing begins

Past all the tears to the place they began

Past all the smiles to where the giants still stand.

You’re bigger than I think, safer than I fear

I want Your voice to be louder than everything I hear

The answer’s not inside me – no, not yet

But I can feel You moving past the anguish and regret.

The battle is intense, You’re nearing my heart

The war of how to trust is tearing me apart

Then suddenly I give up, let my defenses down

And the terrorists of the past scatter with an echoing sound.

I’ve got to have You under my skin

Under the skin is where healing begins

Past all the tears to the place they began

Past all the smiles to where the giants still stand.

I’ve waited so long to feel like I was free

With my back against a closed door I didn't want to see

But now that it’s opened, I finally understand –

From the beginning, this is what You had planned.

I am not my own, I belong to a King

And my life is meant to be the song that You sing

So You're working to heal me from the inside out

But You can only reach in as far as You’re allowed.

I’ve got to have You under my skin

Under the skin is where healing begins

Past all the tears to the place they began

Past all the smiles to where the giants still stand.

No More Ashes

All the stories

Talk about the phoenix

Rising from the ashes

So I’ve been grasping at these black specks

Of my past

That keep crumbling into smaller pieces

The more I touch them.

Then the wind of your Spirit

Blows in

Catches the ashes in my hands

And sweeps them out of my reach.

Why do you bemoan

This newfound freedom, oh my soul?

The God who spoke

Creation into existence

Now has room

To speak.

Intercessor

I was looking at my hands

You said they would heal

I looked up,

And you were standing before me

Stretching out your hands

Still covered in blood

As you took mine in yours

The blood flowing between us began to speak.

It spoke of the open wound

You still bear in your side

It spoke of love being poured out

Still

It spoke of not asking to be washed away

Until everyone is washed.

The crown on your head

It wavered between gold and thorns

You are the triumphant King

And the sacrificial Lamb

You bear the highest Name

And the marks of your intercession

I began to feel the tension between

Bearing scars for others

And protecting my own skin

You let others put their hands inside of You

If it helped them to believe

Help me to reach that far.

Why I Write

I ache to paint a picture with words

For life to dance across the page

Words creating

pictures creating

life creating

HOPE

Now -

How will you see it?

How will you read it?

Will you sing it?

Will you dance it with me?

It’s time to let your life sing

Of who He is.

Open up your arms

And let the blessings rain.

He’s saying,

Don’t limit Me

Don’t try to draw the line

Determining where I end and you begin.

I am the I AM

You are not

So let Me be God

Over you.

The Time is Now

You live in a cage with an open door;

Fear papers your walls and carpets your floor.

The time has passed for you to learn how to fly

But each time I push you turn your back on the sky

What is it you fear that keeps you inside?

I’m tired of watching you run off and hide.

 Every time I want to set you free

You harden your heart and refuse to see.

I am the I AM, who always will be

I am the answer, but you are the key

Why won’t you trust Me? You praise so strong—

Your hands are raised, you know every song.

Yet you’re content in your box, refusing to stretch out;

What comes from your life isn’t what comes from your mouth.

The time is past, you’ve used every excuse

I’ve given you all you need to cut yourself loose

It’s time to rise up, it’s time to be free

It’s time to find out who you should be.

I am the I AM, who always will be

I am the answer, but you are the key

There’s people around you drowning in need

They’re up to their necks, struggling to breathe

I need you to be one who sees and who hears

Then brings them to life and destroys all their fears.

I am the I AM, who always will be

I am the answer, but you are the key

Be Made New

We ask the Lord

to Let it Rain

Open the Heavens, God,

Let it Pour Down

Without realizing

He’s already sent the rain

He’s pouring out now

But our jars are broken

The clay is cracked

And what we collect runs out

While we’re trying to drink it

We want to take it to others

But it’s spilling to the ground

As we try to pass it on

So the little we have is lost

Before our neighbor can catch it

And now we’re all dying of thirst

While the rain pours down around us

We need new wineskins

To hold what’s already been given

So we let it fill us up

And make us new

As we offer it to others

So now they’re receiving the overflow

The top, not the bottom,

The best, not the dregs

Mixed with the residue of our lack

Open Your Mouth

You breathe

     And blow the dust off my bones

         You speak

              And new flesh covers my frame

                   You sing

                       And breath comes back into my lungs

                          You dance

                             And a song comes to my lips

                As

                   I breathe

                      And blow the dust from their bones

                         I speak

                            And new flesh covers their frames

                               I sing

                                  And they begin to dance

                       

And one by one

   An army of skeletons joins

                               Bone to bone

                                 Hearts to flesh

Forming on their frames

                                    As they open their mouths

                                  And

                                     Speaking

                                        Singing

                                           Dancing

                              They move of the valley into the desert beyond . . .

Letting Go

What are you holding so closely to your chest?

I thought you were letting that go.

How many times are we going to do this dance—

You let go, I take it,

Then you’re grabbing it again.

I picked up less this time, Father

Can you see, my arms aren’t as full

You want Me to hold you

Pick you up in My arms

But how can you hold on to Me with what you’re holding?

I want you to let it all go.

What’s so attractive about that mess

That you pick it up again and again and again?

When will you trust Me enough to lay it all down?

Those voices you hear are paper chains—

Stop letting them pull you down.

I’m going to carry you

But it’s time for this cycle to end

I told you you would fly

But you’re weighted to the ground.

These things—these things you’re making so heavy—

I know them, I recognize them

Do you think I’m going to forget

If you let them go?

I made you to be the display of My glory

That doesn’t have to be a temporary thing

But you can’t carry that

And yourself

At the same time.

You try so hard

Smile so big

But your heart is breaking on the inside

And the cracks are beginning to show.

I’ve entrusted you with a lot

But you’re not going to be able to carry it

If you don’t let go.

Let go

Let go

It’s time to let go

That fear isn’t Me

Let go

Once and for all

It doesn’t mean you don’t feel

It doesn’t mean you don’t care

It doesn’t mean you forget

It means you finally heal

I can heal your heart

I can remove the fear

But you have to let go

Each time you need Me I’ll be here

I’m not going to stop reaching out

You’re Mine

It’s okay if you need Me again and again and again

I made you to need Me

That’s how I created you

Stop being so individual

You weren’t created that way

You’re acting against your creation

You were created to be part of a body

Part of Me

A part

Not a whole on your own

So when you need Me

Or you need someone else

You are in the right place.

So need Me

I’m waiting

The Amazing Plastic People

Look at us, we’re so pretty;

Pull our strings and we’ll sing You a ditty.

Lift our arms and they’ll raise so tall.

Paint smiles on our faces; oh, we’re having a ball!

Bend our knees and we’ll jump for You

Then straighten our backs and we’ll sit in the pew.

Oh, wait, it’s a slow song—bend them again so we can kneel.

Hey, wait a minute—where’s the button that will make us feel?

I don’t want to go through the motions

I don’t want to pretend to be real

I don’t want tears painted on my face

Only looking as though I can feel.

I am going to melt like wax in Your presence

I will let my heart explode

I will allow holy fear to overwhelm me

And watch Your love unfold.

The world’s seen enough plastic people,

Barren hearts living under an empty steeple.

Everything they see fills them with disgust;

If there’s no one else, God, then let them see us.

We’ll bend easily under Your wind

Our response to You will never be pretend.

We’ll let our lives be consumed by desire

And our eyes will burn with only Your fire.

Take us Where You Are

I looked for your face

Your eyes, I’ve heard they burn like fire.

But no earthly blaze I’ve seen

Prepared me for that burning desire.

You gave up your place in heaven

To live a life of sweat and dirt

You poured out your life like water

To bring salvation to the earth.

Now You’re raised in glory;

You’re seated on Heaven’s throne.

You assigned us to carry that blaze,

To let it burn in our bones.

But the fire in our eyes

Has dimmed to ash and dust.

We wrap death in a red bow

And say, “Come, be like us.”

Church has become a masked ball

Of fancy clothes and hidden faces.

Our smiles are empty promises

Of hope in heavenly places.

Where’s the power You promised,

The zeal that marked Your days?

The Bride that’s supposed to look like you

Is broken, proud, and afraid.

So we climb up the mountain,

Build our tents and look at the stars.

We tell everyone to come see the glory

But we’ve totally missed where you are.

Sometimes You’re in the valley

Opening graves and breathing on bones.

Before You joined Your Father

You were rolling away the stones.

Your Heart Rages

Your blood was poured out,

An eternal,

Final exchange

Death for life

And yet Your heart rages.

Your blood lays unnoticed

Mingling

With the blood guilt of the leaders

Who tell us nothing is wrong,

It’ll be better someday,

And Your heart rages.

The priests tell us to believe,

But no one’s told us why.

They can’t show us Your glory

Their Holy of holies is empty

And Your heart rages.

Their blue-eyed plastic Jesus

Has its hands stretched out,

Empty.

He has nothing to offer

Children that spill their own blood

Just to feel

And Your heart rages.

There are no answers

And questions are disallowed.

They demand blind faith

In blind leaders

Leading us blindly

Towards destruction

And Your heart rages.

How can the people rise up

Why would they turn and seek Your face

When the only picture they’ve been given

Is broken, weak and debased?

Their God looks like them

He looks like you and me.

We’ve got no pictures of a King

The only one who can set free.

God Came to Church Today

God came to church today

And when he came

I couldn’t move

I couldn’t speak

All I could do was shake

At the glory, power, presence, majesty

Heaven touched earth

And the heavenly beings flowed around your throne

The rushing of their wings

It was cacophony, it was thunder

It was thousands upon thousands

Of voices raised at once

It was glorious, it was terrifying

It was beautiful

I could see the sound

Golden light vibrating in adoration

Your holiness pouring out . . .

Who did you see at church today?